Bru's Musings

Well, the date fell through. He never did call back to confirm a time.

I'm somewhat disappointed simply because this only confirms that fluffy girls don't get dates, and thus the toad (my ex) was right. It wasn't just his view through porn-colored glasses. Don't get me wrong - I can be perfectly happy just as I am, but it would be nice to have someone to hang out with once in a while. But I am confused as to why he even put up the pretense in the first place by calling me. He knew what I looked like - why bother? And even more disappointing is that I spent over a week worrying about what I would wear, what I would say and if I could make it through a first date without looking like a goof. I'm irritated at myself for letting it be that important to me. Ah well, as some famous philosopher must have certainly uttered at one point or another, "screw 'em".

You know, I think the real truth is that all I ever wanted out of life was to be loved unconditionally, to be loved like my dad loves my mom, to be adored. I think that's all any of us want, deep down in the quiet recesses of our being. I know, now, that the only unconditional love I will ever have is from my child and my God. And it's enough. Sometimes though, once in awhile, I just feel a bit disappointed.