I have entered a writing competition for academic advisors. I haven't told anyone, because I don't want to face the humiliation if I don't win. I am including my entry here because I think it expresses a little bit of who I am and why I love my work.
Describe your most memorable advisee and tell what you learned from him/her and how it affected you.
It is difficult, perhaps impossible, to delve into the hundreds of students who have touched my life and choose just one as influencing me most.
There was the young man who had suffered a brain trauma as a child, whose steely determination to earn a degree was fueled by the desire to do more with his life than bag groceries.
The young man confined to a wheelchair, his appearance unkempt, his speech slurred and difficult to understand and who sometimes offended my sense of smell. Many times he came to me with tears in his eyes because he simply did not think he would make it to graduation.
The young woman who shared her story with me – a story of abduction and rape just a few months prior – the story that gives every parent nightmares. She was putting her life back together one piece at the time, struggling to have the courage to go from her car to her front door after dark.
The undergraduate peer mentor who later became my first graduate assistant/freshman advisor who decided not to pursue a career as a therapist and is now one of the top advisors on our campus. She still comes to me for advice, to vent her frustrations and share her joys.
The student assistant-then-graduate-assistant who sang show tunes for me when times were tough and we were all exhausted from the frantic pace of advising and registration.
The graduate assistant/advisor who cried when it was time for her to leave us because she had to move on to a practicum for her degree.
The bi-polar young man covered in tattoos who refused to take his medications and who recently confessed that he had been high most of the time. He has made much trouble for himself, but I refuse to give up hope that he will one day understand his value and fulfill his potential, for he is so very intelligent. He is my most recent heartbreak.
Perhaps, though, the face that stands out the most is Sarah. Sarah was somehow tough and vulnerable at the same time. I first met Sarah when she was a freshman undeclared major. She was fiercely independent, often working two and three jobs to support herself. Many of our conversations centered on what she should do with her life; all that she knew for certain was that she wanted to be married and have children. Her degree was “just in case”. Because of her love for children, Sarah was certain she should become a teacher. When she finally took the plunge and declared Education, she found the classes boring and not at all to her liking. Sarah spent a number of years bouncing around from one major to another, never finding her calling. I watched Sarah struggle with establishing her independence from her parents, hugged her tight when her parents threatened to cut off her finances in an effort to get her to acquiesce on various issues, celebrated with her when she became engaged and later held her hand when she broke the engagement. But I suppose the conversation that is ever-present in my mind was the millionth discussion of what she should do with her life. I remember asking her what was the one thing she loved to do most and she replied “shopping, and decorating my apartment”. My immediate and frighteningly casual reply was “so how about interior design?” Sarah fell in love with the program, finally finding her niche. She is now a successful interior designer in Atlanta. This was the child who plucked at my heartstrings, who became my own. And it was with this young woman that the realization – and perhaps fear – of the awesome influence and responsibility that rests with us as advisors. One simple question, one casual suggestion, and this young woman discovered her passion.
These are the voices that fill my heart, the faces I see in my mind’s-eye. They have humbled me, inspired me, and challenged me; they give me hope and bring me tears, frustration, and laughter.
They are my gift.
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