This week marks the start of summer semester and I am already stressed to the hilt. I'm out of my comfort zone on this one - more so than usual - and it ticks me off. So far I've managed to keep a 4.0 average, but I've already made up my mind that if I can't pull an A in this one then I'll just have to suck it up. Still stings, though.
So I've noticed for some time now that on Wednesday night church services there is this section of 2 or 3 rows where all of the single or unaccompanied women sit. The majority of them are gray-haired and for whatever reason - widowed, husbands just don't attend, maybe divorced - they all cluster on those same rows week after week. It sort of reminds me of birds sitting on a telephone wire, all in a row....a row of crows. Suddenly I'm wondering if I am supposed to be sitting there with them. Am I out of place? Is this some unspoken rule that I don't know about? Am I to be relegated to the Crow Row?
I've recently realized that in 7 years I'll be 50. I've never been bothered by age before; 30 was great, 40 was fine, but 50.....that's half a century. That's not, well, not where I ought to be.
I've also reminded myself that in 8 years my son will be leaving for college. Where have the years disappeared to? Why am I wasting my time in school when he'll be packing off for college, then a job then marriage in a matter of no time?
My life seems to be spiraling toward an open coffin and what am I doing? Writing stupid papers for some dumb degree that won't leave me with any comforting memories when I'm locked up in some nursing home.
Time to renew my happy pills.
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