Bru's Musings

I work with college students. Specifically, I'm in academic advising. I love my job - the student facet of it anyway. I don't care for the college brown-nosing, blowing your own horn, make-sure-you-get-the-credit crap behind the scenes. For the most part, things are routine. But once in awhile, one of my kids does something or says something that leaves a lasting impression on me... a footprint on my psyche, so to speak. Today was one of those days.

In meeting with one of my students today, I learned that she had been raped this semester, just a few months ago. She thought I knew. Kidnapped from her own home and raped. Fortunately, miraculously, blessedly, she escaped and contracted no nasty diseases from the incident. And the perpetrator was caught and should come to trial early next year. Apparently, the guy - unknown to her - knocked on her apt. door and when she answered it, kidnapped her, raped her and forced her to withdraw money from her ATM. He told her he had no intention of taking her home. She somehow talked him into stoping at a fastfood place to get her something to drink and she managed to escape. As she put it "I figured it out....I had to unbuckle my seatbelt, unlock the door and pull the door handle." But, she "missed the damn handle" and he almost caught her. The people in other cars at the place thought it was a domestic dispute....a domestic dispute. What a laugh...here she is fighting to get out of the vehicle, then sprawled on the pavement while this guy is speeding out of the parking lot, and they thought it was some jacka$$ redneck pissed at his main squeeze. Fortunately there was an off-duty cop there and he got things headed in the right direction. She said she called her mother - after midnight, middle of the parking lot, to tell her hysterically "I've been kidnapped....he's had me for about an hour...". What a nightmarish call, the kind of call that knots up your insides and makes you want to puke or pass out, you can't decide which.

This is indelibly printed on my mind, my heart. There is so much hurt in this world, so much wrong. And although I know the end of the story (see Revelations if you don't), I can't help but ache inside to think of all the pain and horror that people inflict upon each other. Life's hard enough as it is. My heart cries out and my gut churns to try and imagine the voices she must have to deal with day and and day out now.... to envision the guilt and fury and helpessness that her mother must feel every moment of the day.... the "before" and "after" of life....the never ever being able to escape the knowledge that this violation has occurred.

Then there is the hidden, smoldering fear within that is stoked to flames when I acknowledge that this could just as easily have happened to me or my family, or things just as horrific could happen to my son. I don't want to go there to that deep, dark quaking place where fear has no bounds. I don't want my strength tested, my inner mettle, my constitution put to the test. I don't want to have to figure out how you go on "after".

I admire this young woman who is but a child herself. She was able to remember everything, down to the brand of cigarettes he smoked and his license plate numbers. She's getting counseling. She has family to walk through this with her. I don't know if she knows my God and walks with Him, but I sincerely hope so. She's going to come through this. But I am reminded once again that there are things worse, much worse, than being overweight, divorced and not getting all the bills paid.

Love those around you this Christmas season, and every day to follow. It's not about buying and giving and getting. It's about loving and living, and knowing my God.