A couple of weeks ago my son came running into my room crying that Sweetie had hurt Timmy. Time to explain where puppies come from, five minutes before walking out the door for school. After an explanation brought down to an 8 year-old level, his response was “eww, I wish I’d never seen that”. To which I replied that life was full of things you’d wish you didn’t know. I couldn’t help but laugh at the expression on his face – rather green, really, but at the same time my heart was breaking with the knowledge that my little one is growing up. I remember the soft downy skin smelling so-o-o heavenly of baby scent; rocking him to sleep at night, singing his favorite songs; reading books over and over until I could tell the stories in my sleep. Now, here we are, getting to the part of life where he starts learning about things he’d rather not know, me having to explain things I just am not ready for him to face yet.
There are many things I wish I didn’t have to know, like the pain of heartbreak and betrayal; the disappointment of friends that are now relegated to the category of former friends. I wish I didn’t know the fear of nearly losing a parent; the sadness of a son who has a weekend “disney dad” and his struggle to not disappoint either parent.
Perhaps the knowing isn’t all bad, though. Perhaps the knowing makes me stronger, more compassionate, more appreciative of the good things in life. I know that it does bring me back to the throne, to the feet of the very One who created me, and makes me love Him all that much more. Without His love, I couldn't face the next moment or the next; I couldn't face knowing what I know.
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